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  • Essay / Self-Awareness: Book Review Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood (1985)

    "Because for women who grew up in deeply unhappy homes, where the emotional burden was too heavy and the responsibilities too great , for these in women, what feels good and what is bad have become confused and tangled and ultimately one and the same thing” Robin Norwood is a therapist who identifies a certain pattern of thoughts and behavior that certain people have. Women develop in response to problematic conditions in childhood -- "loving too much". The author traces the characteristics of this type of women, as well as the role of men in this dysfunctional dynamic (usually drug addicts, alcoholics and injured), the childhood conditions which shape the psyche of these women and the culture (media, norms, values ​​etc.) which reinforces and reinforces this vision of an intense, unhealthy, obsessive love. women in real life to examine the boundaries between healthy and unhealthy ways of relating, as well as the childhood antecedents of these problematic conceptions of love. Say no to plagiarism. Get a custom essay on “Why Violent Video Games Should Not Be Banned”?Get an original essayShe presents a 10-point self-help style recovery plan for women addicted to “toxic love”, that is to say, those who measure the degree of their love by the depth of their torment. She advocates focusing on recovery, healing, and self-love in order to break free from destructive love behaviors and build healthy, meaningful relationships. Norwood argues for Freudian underpinnings of childhood trauma (emotional abandonment, neglect, deprivation, etc.) to explain this maladaptive view of love (often manifesting as an "overwhelming obsession" in adulthood), as having its roots in the love that was denied. by parents or primary guardians in conditions of lack or abuse. The severe emotional starvation and hunger that results from inner child loneliness manifests itself as a desire to repeat and recreate the trauma in order to master it – thus seeking romantic partners who reflect the worst sides of their parents. To clarify, if it is a young child who has experienced any trauma, this “will appear and reappear as a theme in his play activities until he has the feeling of having finally mastered the 'experience ". A child undergoing surgery, for example, can "reenact the trip to the hospital using dolls or other figurines, can play the doctor in one of these dramas and the patient in another, until 'so that the fear attached to the event is sufficiently reduced'. . Women who love too much do the same thing: reenact and relive painful relationships to master them in a desperate attempt to master our wounds. However, the book also highlights the importance of shifting the focus from loving others (to the point of suffering) to loving oneself so that there is no toxicity attached to the concept of love. love. By courageously accepting, grieving, and forgiving the past, these women can form lasting relationships if their needs for support are met in healthy ways, not through pain or abuse. Becoming more than what circumstances have made us – “Victor, not victim” should be the nugget of wisdom we must extract from the burdens of our childhood. I could particularly make the connection with the case of Trudi, 23 years old, married to an emotionally distant alcoholic man. Trudi, from a dysfunctional childhood where she had to take on immense responsibility.. "