Do you remember the last time you wanted your mom or dad to buy you something? Did they look like you knew they weren't going to get going? Have you tried to change their minds? Did you say something like, “But everyone has one”? When you say this, you are really saying that you want to fit in with other kids your age or your peers. No problem, even if it's just a way to fit in. Why is it so important to fit in or belong to a peer group? Because we all need to be attached to other people and groups of people. It started when you were little and needed your mother, father, or another adult to take care of you. Over the years, your attachment to them and their bond with you has become stronger and stronger. Now that you're older, there's a lot you can do to take care of yourself, be more independent, and make more choices for yourself. Some children think they have to push away their parents or other caring adults in order to "belong" in a group of friends. Do your friends own you? Of course not! You make your own choices and are old enough to accept responsibility for them, as well as their positive or negative consequences. The good news is that you can CHOOSE your actions and your friends, while staying close to your family. Some children want to fit in with their peers so much that they will even choose to do things they know are wrong. Some people call it "peer pressure" when friends try to get other friends to do something bad. I call this “peer choice” because you can choose who your friends are and what you do together. You know that “everyone does it” is not an excuse to make a choice that hurts you or anyone else. Let's say a friend tells you that smoking cigarettes is really cool. “Here, try one.” So now there are two voices in your head. One says, “I want to be cool and fit in.” If I say no, everyone will think I'm weird. » Another voice said, "Give me a break! Don't you know that smoking is stupid! No one is going to make me do something that's bad for me. What kind of friend are you, anyway ??