I'm a WriterAs a painfully shy and quiet third grader, I read my little red pocket-sized dictionary during recess and snack times for fun. Big words fascinated me. Who invented these words? How did they decide what they wanted to say? How did you use the word idiosyncratic in a sentence and sound like you intended to use that word all along? A tall, lanky sixth grader wrote about the life and function of algae, while everyone else wrote about the history of the telescope or the difference between sharks and whales. With an attached vocabulary sheet proving that I knew the meaning of the words used, I passed the assignment and the teacher had me read it to the class. Although he was entirely impressed, my class fell asleep before the third page. Although appearing geeky, I stood out and that was my intention. The dreaded B paper in tenth grade caused everyone to lose a letter grade and a sense of sanity. I read Walden to explain why Thoreau chose to live in his little cabin by the pond. This book would shape my life one day, but I had no idea yet. Mr. B thought the book and subject matter might still be a little too difficult for me. I got an A+ while the two “smart kids” got a B and a C+. They had received nothing but As throughout school. Now I was a competitor after all. Mr. B never awarded an As, much less the coveted golden + that followed it. Suddenly I had potential. But then I sat in my final year English class, hunched over with a slight veil over my eyes. I chose the regular section instead of the honors, thinking that I just needed to do well enough, but that the honors English would just be unnecessary extra work because I would just need to take a few classes. English at university, and it would finally be over. English classes have persisted every year since first grade. I knew how to construct an essay, what the rhythm of iambic pentameter was, and what a gerund was. Enough! I wanted a break. The University of Massachusetts, Dartmouth and the University of Southern Maine were calling me. In fact, they simply had rolling admissions. Somehow all other deadlines had passed me by because of this intense fear of failure within me. I prepared to join the army, just in case.