Although Epictetus' textbook contains only fifty-three points, it manages to clearly convey the main ideas of Stoicism and how to act on the basis of these principles. Although it is important to read all the points in the textbook to get an accurate picture of Stoicism, one need only look at the way Epictetus talks about family relationships to get a relatively good idea of ​​what he expects of students. of stoicism. By examining the passages in which family relationships are detailed, one can find guidelines around three of Epictetus' most important (sometimes overlapping) Stoic ideals: how important it is to live in accordance with nature, to through self-knowledge (knowledge of oneself). limits and finitude) and by self-control or authority over oneself. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on “Why Violent Video Games Should Not Be Banned”? Get an original essay First, two scenarios described by Epictetus in his Handbook relate to the important Stoic theme of living in harmony with nature. Epictetus writes: “Appropriate actions are generally measured by relationships. He is a father: that means taking care of him, giving in to him in everything, putting up with him when he mistreats you or hits you. (Epictetus 20) He goes on to say that even if the father is a bad father, the child must maintain this relationship with him, because the child's natural bond is not with a good father, but with a father. (Epictetus 21) Because nature has determined how the father and child should act toward each other, the child must pursue actions that are appropriate for him as a child, despite the father's actions. This example of how to maintain family relationships ties into the Manual's overall theme of living with nature and determining what kinds of actions are and are not within our power. What the Stoic should do is strive to act in the way nature dictates, but not be disappointed when the result of these actions does not satisfy him - as in the case where the son is a good son but the father is not a good son. father. One way to look at it is to watch a sniper aiming at a target. The goal is to hit the middle of the target, but this is not completely under the shooter's control: his fingers may sweat and slip, the weapon may aim high or low due to an internal defect, or the The weapon can completely misfire. All the sniper can do is shoot well, not produce perfect results; if the shooter shoots well, regardless of the result of the shot, he can see the shot successfully. Likewise, a son can accomplish what nature requires of him in his relationship with his father, and whether the result is positive or not (a good relationship), the son has still succeeded. The actions we take must be motivated by what the nature of our relationships requires, not by how others act. However, living in harmony with nature (as the example of the father/son relationship tells the Stoics to do) requires a Stoic to focus on two other things. The first is to recognize the finitude and limits of humanity, which requires paying attention to the world in which our actions take place. Epictetus focuses on this topic with a few examples of family relationships, the first of which is one of his most morbid examples: at one point he states: "If you kiss your child or your wife, say that you are kissing a human being. be; for when he dies, you will not be upset. (Epictetus 12) Through this example, Epictetus attempts to firmly anchor the Stoic in the reality of the world around him and in the way nature functions. This is notnot an optimistic view of life: there is no mention of an afterlife or immortality; there is no guarantee against sudden illness, death or misfortune. Instead, Epictetus demands that his followers confront the irrefutable fact that the way nature works is not always the way we would like: loved ones will eventually die, and in the end there is nothing we can do. do to prevent it. Limitation is the nature of human life. Furthermore, it is important that followers of Stoicism realize that this recognition of the finitude of humans is an unfailing truth for everyone; nature does not deviate from the order of causes and effects. Epictetus further emphasizes the importance of this truth when he states: “Someone else's child is dead, or his wife. There is no one who does not say: “This is the lot of human beings”. But when one's own dies, one immediately says: “Alas! Poor me!' » (Epictetus 18-19) Loss is a neutral event for everyone because everyone must face it; It's not a horrible thing for one person, and if it is, it's because that person didn't realize it could happen to them one day. It is the perception of finiteness that makes this situation horrible, not the limitation itself – a concept that Epictetus later reiterates when he says: “What upsets people is not the things themselves. same, but their judgments on things. » (Epictetus 13) In order not to be unhappy because of disappointed hopes caused by bad judgments, we must face the true nature of humanity and nature. But if that wasn't enough, stoicism might be very simple: it's easy to lament the injustice of life—perhaps too easy. What Stoicism requires, based on awareness of one's own finitude and limitations, is a certain set of actions. It is this set of actions that two other examples of family relationships in the Manual deal with. The first consists of someone who is on a boat that has anchored in a port; this person is free to move away from the boat and roam the island for food and water, but must always keep their mind on the boat and the fact that it will inevitably leave at some point given. He must keep his attention on the boat so he can hear when the captain calls him to come back; When the captain does this, no matter what the person is doing on the island, he must "let go of all those other things so he won't be tied up and thrown around the ship like cattle." (Epictetus 13) This is how to live with dignity: whenever death comes -- as it inevitably will -- one must be ready to abandon everything without turning back, whether it is a woman or a child . If one does not do so, one will be tied up and thrown into the inevitable like cattle, losing one's dignity in what should have been a neutral situation. This is an important idea for Epictetus: struggling or worrying about situations you cannot control is useless and deprives people of their human dignity. Since death is something that will happen no matter what and cannot be controlled, nothing should stop a Stoic from facing it, not even their family. What one must do is align one's will with what nature demands by obediently complying with the call of death, not by demanding that nature adapt its actions to what one wants by fighting and fighting against death. The second example, Epictetus, gives equally important details. He states bluntly: “You are foolish if you want your children, your wife and your friends to live forever, since you want things that do not depend on you to depend on you, and things that do not depend on you).