It is not uncommon for the pain of physical trauma to also turn into mental trauma. This can be seen in Alice Sebold's memoir, Lucky, in which she describes the aftermath of a brutal rape. Even though she was physically injured by the man who attacked her, she still had to deal with the mental turmoil caused by the event years after her injuries healed. The physical act of rape brought about a complete change in her worldview, as evidenced by her changing relationships, her speech, and her definition of virginity. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on “Why Violent Video Games Should Not Be Banned”? Get the original essay The physical trauma Sebold suffered as a result of the rape is undeniable, as she was violently attacked by Gregory Madison. In the opening pages of her memoir, she describes the attack in detail, writing how "he reached out and grabbed the ends of [her] long brown hair" and she felt it "painfully come out of [her] scalp » ( Sebold 5). Every time she thought she had escaped, he retaliated with even more aggression than before. For example, after dropping his knife, he “sat down on [his] back” and “pressed [his] skull into the brick” (Sebold 6). She even "lost consciousness" for a moment when "he wrapped his hands around [her] neck and began to squeeze it" (Sebold 6). It is clear that even before the rape began, her body was already under immense stress. The physical pain was only amplified after he began sexually assaulting her, as she describes how "something tore" inside her and she "started to bleed there” (Sebold 9). The physical nature of the trauma can be brought out more when treated by medical professionals, and the doctor tells the nurse that “there is so much blood” (Sebold 18). Additionally, the doctor has to give her stitches inside and tells her that she "will be sore here for a few days, maybe a week" (Sebold 18). Her mental stress right now is clear as she is unable to think about the temporary physical pain she will face. Hearing the doctor's words, she explains that she "could not think in terms of days or weeks" and "could only concentrate on the next minute and believe that with each minute it would get better" (Sebold 18-19). Her perception of time is altered and she cannot think about the future since her only priority is survival. After Sebold's physical injuries are treated by doctors, she begins to think about how she will get her life back to normal. She focuses primarily on her relationships with friends and family. As she has always taken care of her mother, she tries to protect her by “telling the police not to call her” (Sebold 19), which goes against her own interests. Sebold wants to “hide the rape from her and my family” because her “mother had panic attacks in heavy traffic” and Sebold “was certain that [her] rape would destroy her” (Sebold 19). However, it is inevitable that Sebold's relationship with her mother will be affected by the rape, as she will eventually have to call him and ask for help. The change in the dynamic of their relationship is visible when Sebold asks, "Can you come get me, Mom?" (Sebold 26), returning to an almost childlike state. Unusually, her mother is calm in a moment of crisis and tells her daughter "it would take about twenty minutes" because "she had to pack up and leave, but she would be there" (Sebold 26). Furthermore, upon his arrival, Sebold noted that “inWithin seconds, [she] saw that [her] mother, who [she] expected would collapse, had the kind of new energy that was needed to get [her] through the rest. of this day” (Sebold 30). Sebold juxtaposes this chapter about returning home with a chapter devoted entirely to his childhood and upbringing, which effectively conveys the contrast between his relationships before and after the rape. Specifically, she brings up her relationship with her mother by referencing a disastrous trip they went to New York together. When Sebold's mother had a panic attack in the backseat of a taxi, Sebold calms her down by telling her, "We'll come back another time, mom...it's okay" (Sebold 47). After her rape, their roles have to be reversed and Sebold reluctantly gives up her position as guardian. Likewise, Alice's father adjusts his behavior in order to comfort her. Despite his typically distant attitude toward his family, he hugs her when she enters their home, whom Sebold describes as being "clumsy" and "ill-adjusted" (Sebold 50). Sebold writes that she does not “remember him saying anything to her” (Sebold 50). She explains: If he had said, "Oh, darling, it's good to have you home" or "Alice, I love you," it would have been so unusual that I think I would have left. remembered, but maybe I don't remember. I don't remember it for that reason. I didn't want a new experience. I wanted what I knew, the house I had left that fall for the first time in my life and the father I recognized. (Sebold 50)This interaction expresses Sebold's desire to continue as if nothing had happened, and his father's inability to do so. It is likely that her father spoke to her more tenderly than usual, but she refused to accept his change in personality. Her state of denial about the changes in her life reflects the mental trauma she faces following her rape. She also tries to deal with her mental and emotional trauma through her speech, especially when talking about the rape. with the others. Typically, trauma is associated with a person's complete inability to speak after an event. However, Sebold takes the opposite approach and speaks frankly about her rape, even if it makes others uncomfortable. For example, during her first interaction with her father after her rape, she makes a crude and inappropriate joke about the event. She justifies it by saying: “To an outsider this may seem horrible; to my father…and to my mother…it shocked them both and meant only one thing: the child they knew was still there” (Sebold 51). This is also seen in her conversation with Myra, when she abruptly interrupts the woman to tell her, “I was raped” (Sebold 68). When Myra responds, “I know,” Sebold continues, “I needed to say the word… It’s not ‘that thing that happened to me,’ or ‘the assault,’ or ‘the beating,’ or " That ". I think it’s important to call it that” (Sebold 68). Sebold is direct and unapologetic, which shows her healing process. She also uses her writing as a coping mechanism. This can be seen in the poem she writes for her workshop, which gives her the first opportunity to “address the rapist directly” (Sebold 100). Additionally, Sebold uses her fiction novel The Lovely Bones, which deals with a similar subject, and her memoir to further explore her feelings regarding her own rape. One of Sebold's biggest mental battles after the rape is based on her status as a virgin. Her initial loss of innocence is seen in the fact that she compares undressing to "losing feathers" (Sebold 8), while her rapist sees her naked body for 243).