I choose Alfie Kohn, “When a Parent I Love You Means Doing As I Say.” This gives rise to a debate over whether parents should give their children conditional love. Since I'm a new parent, I can totally understand the argument being made. There are no real guidelines for raising a child; if there were, it would be much easier. Psychologist Carl Rogers strongly believes that children should receive unconditional love from their parents and be loved for who they are and not for what they do (510). Kohn begins his article by stating Roger's statement and continues throughout the rest by contrasting this thought with information and research and gives the effects when it comes to conditional love. What I take away from this article is that when it comes to punishing a child who keeps your love back until they can enter business is not a good solution. Kohn uses two very well known people, Phil McGraw and Jo Frost, to describe that the idea of using attention, praise and love towards a child should only be given when the child does what is expected. This reasons with the concept of parents thinking that punishing a child should be done by giving and taking their attention and affection towards a child in the hopes that the child will act correctly only to receive approval from their parents. I watched Jo Frost in Super Nanny and she makes it seem like it's easy to completely change a child's behavior by resorting to time out and isolation, but what works for a handful of kids won't work for everyone. This is a hotly debated topic for parents because there are pros and cons of conditional love. According to a study that Kohn translated in his article, this was research collected from 100 random students who received conditional approval...... middle of article...... I believe that a child must be punished because there are many other actions to take that will not result in lasting consequences. Since becoming a parent myself, I firmly believe that we either follow the path our parents taught us or we learn from their mistakes only to improve ourselves. We are all different, so of course our methods of raising a child will be different, but thinking about the results and effects should be everyone's main concern. By taking less direct punishment and removing affection, a child will not have to seek help from others to make up for that unconditional love they needed when it really mattered. Works Cited Kohn, Alfie. “When a parent’s “I love you” means “do as I say.” The Bedford Guide for Academic Writers. 9th ed. Ed. X. J. Kennedy, Dorothy M. Kennedy, and Marcia F. Muth. Boston: Bedford/St. Martins, 2011. 509-512. Print.

Essay / I choose Alfie Kohn, “When a Parent I Love You Means Doing As I Say.” This gives rise to a debate over whether parents should give their children conditional love. Since I'm a new parent, I can totally understand the argument being made. There are no real guidelines for raising a child; if there were, it would be much easier. Psychologist Carl Rogers strongly believes that children should receive unconditional love from their parents and be loved for who they are and not for what they do (510). Kohn begins his article by stating Roger's statement and continues throughout the rest by contrasting this thought with information and research and gives the effects when it comes to conditional love. What I take away from this article is that when it comes to punishing a child who keeps your love back until they can enter business is not a good solution. Kohn uses two very well known people, Phil McGraw and Jo Frost, to describe that the idea of using attention, praise and love towards a child should only be given when the child does what is expected. This reasons with the concept of parents thinking that punishing a child should be done by giving and taking their attention and affection towards a child in the hopes that the child will act correctly only to receive approval from their parents. I watched Jo Frost in Super Nanny and she makes it seem like it's easy to completely change a child's behavior by resorting to time out and isolation, but what works for a handful of kids won't work for everyone. This is a hotly debated topic for parents because there are pros and cons of conditional love. According to a study that Kohn translated in his article, this was research collected from 100 random students who received conditional approval...... middle of article...... I believe that a child must be punished because there are many other actions to take that will not result in lasting consequences. Since becoming a parent myself, I firmly believe that we either follow the path our parents taught us or we learn from their mistakes only to improve ourselves. We are all different, so of course our methods of raising a child will be different, but thinking about the results and effects should be everyone's main concern. By taking less direct punishment and removing affection, a child will not have to seek help from others to make up for that unconditional love they needed when it really mattered. Works Cited Kohn, Alfie. “When a parent’s “I love you” means “do as I say.” The Bedford Guide for Academic Writers. 9th ed. Ed. X. J. Kennedy, Dorothy M. Kennedy, and Marcia F. Muth. Boston: Bedford/St. Martins, 2011. 509-512. Print.

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